Figure Drawing October 21st, 2019

•November 13, 2019 • Leave a Comment

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Timelapse Video:

 

Advice from the past….

•November 14, 2019 • Leave a Comment

UponWaking

Once upon a time (and I really couldn’t tell you how long ago) someone had said to me “If you do anything wrong long enough, it becomes a style.”. They were talking specifically about illustration. It makes sense. It is a bit of advice that has helped me many times over the years and I have continued to pass it on along.

The things that you consider your defects could very well wind up contributing to your strengths in time.

It never occurred to me to apply this piece of advice to anything beyond art.

That is until this week. It’s not the first time someone has said something about it, but two people that I respect mentioned it this week. They told me that my refusal to conform is inspiring (in different contexts).

In all honesty I have always considered it to be a deficit. I joke about the definition of Self Employed being: Unemployable. A lot of us “couldn’t make it” in conventional work environments. Personally I had a few major issues with real jobs in the Corporate World. The biggest problem being that I was never very good at keeping my mouth shut when I needed to. I questioned directives. I gave my opinion. Very often when it was far from appreciated. I was not satisfied with “because I said so” as an answer. Many supervisors do not want to be questioned. Especially in a group setting .

Anyhooo…. I wasn’t good at it.

I didn’t like being told what to do. This wasn’t limited to work. In my personal life it was referred to as being “contrary”. If you told me not to do something it made me want to try it.
(Who am I kidding? I still don’t like being told what to do.)

I wanted to know why. I wanted to know lots of things. I wanted to try lots of things and if someone couldn’t give me a good reason why not… I would give it a try.

“I’ll try anything once, if it kills me I won’t try it again.”

It led to a lot of stupid decisions with varying degrees of consequences. I got clean and sober. My decision making process got better, but I remained contrary. Eventually I found myself here. Owning my own business. Building my own Tribe. Surrounding myself with other “misfits” – loving them all for their individuality, their creativity and their beautiful hearts. Making a living from the “stupid” and “worthless” pastime that kept me from being the “right” kind of productive. I am happy in almost every area of my life and am inordinately grateful for the loving supportive bubble that I get to exist in.

In all of this time it never occurred to me that this all came from my inability to fit in. If I would have even been able to fake going along with the crowd and following through on what people told me that I should do – I wouldn’t have landed here. I wouldn’t have all the opportunities in front of me that I do. If I had listened to all the people that told me that it was impossible…. I would be miserable. I would be unfulfilled. I would be lonely. I would be pretending to be someone that I am not in order to get by.

Some times I can be a little slow coming around. I still battle depression and imposter syndrome. Life is not perfect.

But damn, it is GOOD!

I am so grateful for where I am today. I am grateful for my Tribe that carries me when I falter. I am grateful for all of the humans (both live and internet) that reach out to me to tell me that my art has touched them in some way. I am honored & humbled that people continue to ask me to decorate their bodies. I love that my art enriches other people’s lives.

It begs the question…. what else am I beating myself up about needlessly?

What are your “deficits” that have blessed your life?

How can we all learn to be nicer to ourselves and embrace our “failures”?

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for sharing you with me in whatever capacity that you have. Thank you for being here.

Go forth and LOVE.

 

And if you do it wrong long enough…. it’s a style.

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Figure Drawing October 28th, 2019

•November 14, 2019 • Leave a Comment

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Time Lapse Video:

 

Between the Dreaming – The Opening

•November 12, 2019 • Leave a Comment

wow.

This has been so very very long in the making. I have been keeping so much of the artwork under wraps so that it could be a surprise. It’s been hard and now that it is finally hung, open and will be coming down in a few weeks…. it’s so much and so overwhelming that I can’t really cover it all here.

The show is still on Whitman Works website here: Between the Dreaming: TeeJay Dill

and the photos on my website of most of the paintings (but not the drawings) can be found here: Between the Dreaming

So here are some of the photos from the opening and work that is in the opening (in no particular order). There are SO many people to thank and I hope that I have done so in person. I am so incredibly fortunate to have the group of humans around me that I do. I feel loved and supported in the things that I do.

The installation. Some of the drawings weren’t on the wall. Hard to get everything in one shot, so here are a couple of panoramics.

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The center wall when you first walk in. That center painting is so massive that it makes everything else look small in the photos. My mom helped me decorate everything and the black roses are from a wonderful human. The vase in the corner was created my Maureen Robbins who also shows at Whitman Works. The greenery on the walls are fresh lavender bundles out of my yard.

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I am always hesitant to explain people my meanings when I create work. Mostly in the event that it doesn’t sync up with what people think it may mean. This one does have a story behind it. Ask me about it if you are interested.

birdhouse Bonnie

This one doesn’t have a story (yet).

BubbleRider

This one was probably the crowd favorite at the opening and one of the first pieces to sell. (thank you again Ed). It was one of the last pieces that I made before the show opening and is done primarily in acrylic inks on DuraLar. It is painted on both sides of the paper and the castle and the large white spot are on another piece of paper behind the DuraLar. This is a new technique for me and I plan on making many more pieces with these materials.

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Yes. It’s me. Hard at Work.

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I made the mushrooms out of paper mâché in my living room (way too soon before the show for them to dry properly) and my mom and I made the little round furry critters that are around the base.

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This one has a story, was made at IMC this summer and is one of the pieces that I made public before the opening. Again, I can talk to you about what it means to me in person if you like. I will tell you that it deals with nurturing our habits/addictions.

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Thank you everyone again for all of your support. I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams and so many people have helped (and continue to help) that become a reality. I hope that I have brought a little magic and wonder into your life as well.

 

Thank you. I am humbled.

Figure Drawing October 14th, 2019

•November 12, 2019 • Leave a Comment

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The link for the time lapse:

 

Figure Drawing September 30th & October 7th 2019

•October 8, 2019 • 1 Comment

I’ve been having computer problems again so I am combining two weeks into one. Hope that is okay.

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Time-lapse of session:

On October 7th I covered the attendance taking in addition to keeping time for the models. That is fairly difficult for me to do as I don’t feel like I talk to people well and I am always embarrassed that I have such a hard time keeping track of names. It went well all things considered, but it did cut into the amount of time I could spend drawing on many of the earlier poses.

I’m sure if I keep doing it, it will get easier and I am SURE that it could be argued that being able to talk to people is a more universally useful life skill than rendering humans.

No matter what I am very grateful to Steve and his comfortable inviting studio. I have learned a lot there and not all of it has been in class. There are some great people there.

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Time-lapse on You Tube at:

Thank you for visiting my corner of the internet.

 

Figure Drawing September 23rd, 2019

•September 24, 2019 • 1 Comment

It’s amazing the things that my brain or more precisely my anxiety/depression can do to cloud what I am physically seeing. I wasn’t coping well yesterday. I thought that I had done a horrible job on my drawings and was really torn about posting them today. I was especially disappointed with the long pose.

While I was working on it, I kept thinking that I should have left early and not tried.

I looked at them today and really like the long pose.

Brains. Have to learn to live comfortably inside of them.

I have a new therapist that specializes in trauma work. She thinks that she can help me move from managing and handling my depression to actually eliminating the stuff that is oozing in from past events. Then I would only have to deal with the kind that happens when something depressing happens. I can’t imagine what a relief that would be and how much more energy I would have to actually live my life, create and function as a human. I would like that a lot.

Meanwhile I will keep putting one foot in front of the other, leaning on the humans that hold me up and doing the things that I need to do.

Thank you to those of you who check in here, check in with me in person and give me hope for the human race. Thank you.

Big Hugs and Lots of Love.

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and the time-lapse: