Figure Drawing March 2nd, 2020
I was talking with one of the guys at Figure Drawing on Monday and he asked me how I thought I was doing. I told him that I didn’t know. I rarely do.
It goes one of two ways.
One. The critical part of my brain is constantly telling me how bad I am at everything.
Two. I get absorbed in what I am doing and the rest of my brain is busy comparing, observing, rendering and what not and drowns out anything that the critical part has to say.
I tried to explain this to him a little bit. He looked a bit confused.
I summarized.
“Most of my brain doesn’t like me very much.”
I wish this wasn’t true (and yes, I know what they say about wish in one hand…). I am in therapy. I am working on it (and me). I look at the little people in my life (and some big people) who will bring me something that they have made and tell me “I did a really good job on this” or “I am really pleased with this one”.
Some day I want to be that kid.
Mean time I will continue to practice and try to keep the rest of me occupied enough that the critical part either shuts up or gets drowned out by the rest of us moving forward.
Progress not perfection. Always moving forward.
Video of drawing progress:
I hope your demons stay at bay and you are able to remember that you are deserving of love.
Don’t believe your brain. It may be out to get you.
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We are our own worst critics. I think you have great talent!!
Hi there…upon reading your blog I swear I wrote it. You and I are so much alike. I asked myself are we twins? Did one of us get lost at birth and someone took one of us? That’s how much we have in common.
Your artwork is amazingly amazing! You may not think it is or your brain is telling you that, but it’s so wrong. You’re so creative and to me…brilliant! Just thought you would like to know this. BTW..My middle name is “perfectionist” which has its pros and many cons especially when I’m doing my artwork. Nothing is good enough well to me it isn’t. I hope you see this message.
Kindly, Janis (aka..Lass)
P.S. My demons are idiots, and I can’t wait until they leave my life forever! I sure can relate to demons.
Hi Janis (Lass)
Thank you. One of the truly wonderful things about the internet is that it has allowed us to meet like minded humans wherever they may be. I have made several internet friends via this blog (and theirs) that I would never had been able to meet in the real world otherwise.
I very much appreciate you reaching out and I hope that you continue to successfully battle your demons.
Best of everything to you,
TeeJay